"It's not a place they sing songs about."

Melbourne....oh Melbourne...

This morning, before leaving the hostel, AJ had a great perspective. He said, "I think Melbourne is the type of city you need to experience, not just see." Unlike other cities that you can walk around and see what it has to offer, he figured we really needed to get out there and explore Melbourne. So with a new outlook, we headed out the door and ready to get a feel for this place.

Our first stop was the info book in the hostel (which was closed the night before). Here were met Josh, who was very willing to give advice on things to check out and places to go. So, immediately feeling like maybe the woman from the night before was an exception, we felt good about our start. We headed straight to find a cafe in the Block Arcade, per the suggestion of the lovely Stephanie Bond, and we enjoyed a delicious meal. With our bellies full, we ventured down to Federation Square to check out the major visitor's information plaza. We grabbed a ticket and waited to be called, and once we were, we fell in love.

Here, at counter 10, we met Betty (though her name was likely Betty, the way she pronounced it made it sound like "Bitty"). And Bitty won our hearts. She was ready to give us every suggestion under the sun about how to spend our time here in Melbourne. She slowly walked back and forth from us to the map selection and back to provide us with a resource for every corner of town. At one point, while trying to figure out which way was up on a map, she said, "Oh Bitty. You've got yourself right turned around, now haven't you?" Even though we had no questions left, we couldn't help but keep chatting because we loved Bitty so much. Even when she told us that we should try a restaurant that was owned by a woman who was half Aboriginal because "she's not so bad for a half and half," we still couldn't help but like her (despite her being a slight bit racist). And when she told us to avoid the Greek District because "it's not a place they sing songs about," I thought maybe of staying the whole day at the counter chatting it up with Bitty. But eventually, we knew it was time to wander out and take her up on her suggestions about Melbourne, so we bid Bitty adieu and meandered out into the Square.

Once outside, we had renewed faith that maybe we'd like Melbourne afterall. Unfortunately, we spoke too soon. We decided to jump on the city circle tram and take a tour of the main part of the city. We knew we could jump on and off as many times as we liked, so we thought that might be a good way to get an overview of the city. Unfortunately, once on the tram, we had a run in with another character, who was much less likable than Bitty. To save you the boring details of this guy, I'll give you some highlights. He started by telling us that some woman kept staring at him as if he was masturbating in public. We smiled politely and turned to look out the window, hoping he'd get the hint. Unfortunately, he didn't. He continued to regale us with his opinions about life and Melbourne. He asked us why the hell we would come to Australia if we were from LA (we tried to explain that since we live in LA, we were hoping to experience something different for our vacation.) And the highlight was when he was getting off the tram, he looked at me and said, "Watch that smile. They know when you're making fun of them. I don't know how they know, but they know." I have no idea who "they" are or what the hell he was talking about, but I did know that I was glad he was out of our lives.

It didn't take long on the tram to realize that there wasn't much for us to see. As it started to rain, we decided to take the tram back to Federation Square and grab some lunch (per Bitty's suggestions). And after lunch, we found ourselves so cranky that we decided to go take a nap at the hostel. Our plan was to head down to St. Kilda for dinner, so we figured a little energy would inspire us for our evening.

Once the nap was over, we dragged ourselves back to the tram station and jumped on the #16 to St. Kilda. And as we rode and rode and rode, we began to realize that we weren't entirely sure where to get off. We thought it would be quite obvious, but unfortunately, we thought wrong. By the time we figured out where we were, we had passed the St. Kilda stops by about four or five. So we jumped on the #16 going in the opposite direction and finally found our way to Acland Street.

Acland St., home of dozens of bakeries full of yumminess, turned out to be a good way to end our evening. We found ourselves another little chocolateria, where we enjoyed more chocolate than ever imagined. And once our mugs were empty, we jumped back on the tram and made our way back to the hostel so that we could curl up in bed and escape from the cold rain.

All in all, Melbourne was not a highlight (and certainly not a place they sing songs about!) I realized that it's a lot like Philadelphia. It's probably a great city to live (tons of food and shopping), but not too much in the city to enjoy. And if you don't have time to get out out of the city proper and see the penguin march or the Great Ocean Road, I would say there might not be a lot of reason to come into the city to begin with.

So, tomorrow morning, we're off to Adelaide. On Friday, we are doing a tour of Barossa Valley (the wine country) and then on Saturday, we leave for an overnight trip to Kangaroo Island. We're excited about both adventures, and hope they will us some better stories than Melbourne.